This is perhaps my darkest hour, amongst a thousand others. I haven’t felt more alone or neglected ever in my life. Maybe I could say the same thing about summer this year. But I had been developing myself philosophically, and still am, but experienced a paradigm shift. Maybe that would make a difference, along with finding a person whom I considered family, in the moral sense. That person is no longer with me. To write this is to be vulnerable in the deepest way possible. But I have to get this out, or I’ll go mad. Furthermore, it seems to me that this rant might be reminiscing of Nietzschean aphorisms.
Are people lonely? Yes, there might be instances of feeling left alone by specific individuals, but the majority haven’t experienced true loneliness. I would wholeheartedly agree that the lack of moral grounding has affected proper parenting, in turn becoming the sole reason for broken relationships. Nonetheless, most people always have somebody in their life who can understand them, nay, at least try to understand them. What about the Geniuses? No, this is not my penchant for elitism. But to be neglected by society, to be considered an alien, to be used as a mere instrument, to be put on a pedestal and the won ostracized for being on a pedestal, all because I’m different? I have had a God complex, that is the truth. I’ve worked on myself, and my virtues to eradicate that. But when people continue to treat me horribly, merely using me as an instrument to get things done and for my wealth, directly caused by my intellect, can you blame the tendency to imagine yourself as a God? When all you’ve received in life, even from your biological family, is neglect? The people sling arrows at me for having talent, for its mere existence. The fact that you consider yourself superior because you’re part of the norm, proves the vile hypocrisy behind every single statement. I don’t accept the premise of superiority, in any dimension intellectual or otherwise. The moral values of human nature dictate equal moral worth. But the fact is, I have certain genetic gifts that can be put in place to embarrass people in the competition. I don’t care for who is arguing with me, you’re not winning any argument. I can be condescending if I want to. But I chose not to. I chose to try to be as good as possible because I value it. Humans ought to value it. Even after all this, to be treated as an instrument to their pseudo needs? Can you blame me for thinking about embracing the God Complex, being the caricature real-life alternative to Tony Stark or Harvey Specter? I won’t do that, ever. Firstly, ethics. Secondly, I would be reacting to their immoral disposition which in turn implies my lack of freedom.
People have treated me like human feces, because the word shit is too juvenile, for they are intimidated! They get insecure, even after accommodation of the highest kind. I don’t care about my intelligence. I want to be as good as possible, then as authentic as possible. Also, I don’t get the glorification of being a “common man”. The ardent condemnation of people for not adhering to those norms. You’re more concerned about being average than me. Whenever an argument is made, one of a novel kind, the answer is pitiful condescension. We’re just common people, the insinuation being that they’re not weirdos, if the local lingo wills, like me. I get that I’m not relatable and that plays a lot into why people can’t connect with me. The reverse problem doesn’t exist, so to say. Even then, why befriend me then? Stay away! Offering up companionship for ulterior motives? I mean, if it gets discovered, one can always spring up on the moral subjectivism and mindless liberalism that is accepted de facto. If you get offended, just take it as the rant of a weirdo who has no friends. That may appeal to your complacent, hedonistic mind. In all honesty, you don’t what it’s like to suffer. To have to take an abnormal amount of SSRIs and OCD medication. To have attempted taking your life, but couldn’t because you were afraid. To spend months with insomnia, laying in bed all day. Not to mention, the poor treatment by the common man, for the implications are awful. You justify your vices and complacency with this phrase. Hide behind your masks all you want. At the end of the day, all that remains is your incompetent, evil glutes on your couch.